my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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