why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize