So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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