Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Alive.
So much puke
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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