Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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