He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
