Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
