Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
