Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
