i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
