How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
