if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
