Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
