he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
