If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
