Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
