Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
