playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
