oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
