3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize