Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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