I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to make out with him forever
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
