so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
