Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
