He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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