He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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