but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
