talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
