Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
