i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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