I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
