you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize