R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it wasn't lemon gatorade
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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