I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
