At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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