Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
