drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
