I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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