how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
