he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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