I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
