I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
