Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
