How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
