I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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