to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
