what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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