I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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