My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
