I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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