So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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