I want to have your abortion
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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