my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize