Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
it glows. i had to have it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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