I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
