I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
