beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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