I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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