if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
