i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize