No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
