theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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