did you get engaged???
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
