I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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