I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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