I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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